I will reserve another blog for all the doctors along my journey. Yesterday was my renew my meds check up with my PCP. I like my PCP. She's the first Dr, after a string of about a dozen plus, who gives me credit for being an intelligent person, and listens, and helps. I keep telling her she would be an excellent CIRS Dr. Normally, I would have the privilege of 10 minutes of her attention to go over labs and discuss my progress. Not in my world. This is where my passion for what I do comes in.
I absolutely dread going there. The building where my doctor, who is supposed to help heal me, is toxic to me. (My guess is the AC, and maybe a roof leak.) Probably the most reactive building I have to go in. I plot and plan my appointments- A time where I don't have to wait long. A list of what I need, so it can move along fast. I want to talk to her. Go over things with her, like people without CIRS do. I like her. But by the time she gets in my exam room, all I want to do is run out ASAP. Because, 20 seconds after walking in the door of the building, it starts, but I smell it immediately. Sinus' begin burning. Skin begins burning. Eyes burn. Hands and feet start swelling. Ears become full and start hurting, much longer and they will have stabbing pain. My heart starts to skip and add beats, and often feels like I will pass out. My joints start hurting. My balance gets wobbly. I have word recall problems. Skin starts to feel like ants are stinging me randomly. The whole thing just plain stinks, and I have to smile and be polite and get my prescriptions and get to fresh air. When I walk in the building I do what most Moldies do. I scan the room, and it's not crowded. I had planned to wait outside no matter what. This time I would put my foot down. The waiting room is empty. Thank goodness. This should go fast.
The receptionist is short with me. She says if I wait outside they won't call me, and it won't be long at all. I scan the room and the air vents on the ceiling are black all around them. I already knew that. 10 minutes go by and I'm not doing good. This isn't fair. It's past my appointment time, which I was 5 minutes early for, and another gentleman has come in after me, and been taken back. It's imperative I get fresh air, so I announce firmly, I'll be right out the front door, which is completely visible from the receptionist about 30 feet away. She's not happy with me. I remind myself she doesn't have a clue and let it go. The fresh air is healing. I breathe deep, symptoms start to slowly ease somewhat. A nice nurse opens the front glass door and calls me, and I thank her profusely for coming out to get me.
Time to suck it up, and get this over with. The nurse asks me about my reactivity. She says she has allergies too. There isn't enough time in the day to go into "this is not allergies". She says she has to take allergy medicine every day. My heart wants to tell her the building is not healthy and she shouldn't work here and RUN. But that wouldn't sink in. So I asked her if she felt better when she was out of the building, on the days she didn't work. She stopped what she was doing as a big light bulb went off, and said yes. She pointed to the floor and said it's the carpet. I pointed to the black all around the ceiling vent and said it's the AC. It's moldy. That's about as far as I can push it. Plant seeds. My vitals are high. Of course, they always are when I have a huge inflammatory reaction like that.
Finally, my Dr comes in and knows I need to hurry. She's kind about my reacting in there, always has been. I tell her I feel really bad everyone is working in such an unhealthy environment. She says they are all fine so far. We discuss how my TGF Beta-1 has drastically come down and I tell her how hard I worked on it. She asked me how I did it (she's not a mold Dr) and I briefly told her, but afterwards, wished I could have taken longer to explain. I just wanted outside. She promised to write fast and get me out ASAP. Check out was quick, but seemed like eternity. Once outside in a great fresh breeze, I took my time getting to my car. I stood by it for a few minutes, and breathed, and hoped some of the spores, biotoxins, or whatever I just swam in, would blow off before I got in my car. Off comes my windbreaker that I wore inside all zipped up like a freak, folded inside out and placed in a plastic bag, along with the paperwork I received. All knowing that with the "hit" that I just received, my evening and subsequent morning would be very painful with stiff joints and muscles, and many other symptoms that come along with a hit like that. THIS is what fuels my passion to bring Mold aWearness to all. A few more errands to run, with windows down and fresh air. To places I don't react in. I stop at my favorite grocery store that I can linger in without issues. The world is right and kind for a while. Almost normal. I bask in those moments. I'm not a Moldie in there. I'm a regular person.